She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
