I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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