doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I need moral support for this bender
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
