oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He better not be in your backpack
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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