He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you had me at cake vodka
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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