we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
