You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
a search helicopter?!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
