your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize