You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
