So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
