Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
