he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
