So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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