Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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