Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
