We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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