i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
