The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
