Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
