you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
