Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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