Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
