Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
where are my pants?
in the oven.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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