Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
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dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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