dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
