Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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