Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
