he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
