3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
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There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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