ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
