one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
