I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize