i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
