brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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