stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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