So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
