I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
