she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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