I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
