In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
