508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
