get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
