thus making me awesome and them whores
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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