If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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