I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
