Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
