ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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