Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
