who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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