is your mom at the bar?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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