i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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