WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
