I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
