you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
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I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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