using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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