if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
