he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
