I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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