He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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