is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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