Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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