i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
