I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
